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Garmond
Garmond Summary Traveler! Sit down here in my tent and tell me of your ways. Lets watch these dancing girls and share an ale. Have I mentioned that I've got 3 mongrel children by these wenches? Haha 'tis true. So which do you prefer? That one?? THATS MY COUSIN, YOU FILTHY DOG!! FILL YOUR HAND WITH A HILT AND COME FACE ME TO THE DEATH AND ..... wait, that's not my cousin after all. You are free to have her then!! Come, we are brothers now, tomorrow I shall fill your sacks with travel-goods and remember you always, but for tonight we drink until we sleep! Let me tell you the tale of my uncle .... he seduced the most beautiful elven maiden in Sylivas! Garmond is a nation peopled with a boisterous group of humans ("Garmonders"), situated in the center of the Mainland, in a land of forested hills and deeply hidden, lush valleys. The humans who live there love the sound of laughter and of swords clashing, of poetry and cursing, of love-making and arguing. They are a loud, hot-tempered group, for whom fighting and battle is so common that simple fist-fights are not even viewed as violence, and where honor-duels to the death can break out over the smallest of disagreements. This land was once a fiercely-contested border region filled with monstrous creatures, and the people here still have a frontier spirit. Geography The country is located in a thickly forested region of the central Mainlund known for its excellent grazing pastures and rolling hills. It's fairly temperate and wet, with warm weather most of the year, but with icy rain and sleet during the winter months. A series of roads leading north connect Garmond to Partha eventually, and the two countries have been historically linked to each other for as long as Garmond has existed. To its west are the Abahezian Mountains with the country of Bhesina just past that. Four major waterways cross the country: the Rusted River, which flows in from the west, the Ghirt'lom River, flowing from Partha south into the land, the Ferth River, which originates within Garmond and, along with the other 3 great rivers, combines to to form the Great Basin Lake, a gargantuan freshwater lake. The lake empties south into the Kril'Wat River, which is the largest/widest single river in the Mainlund. Racial Distribution The humans of Garmond are ethnically identical to the men of Partha, having once been families inside that land whom moved south to establish farms in the rich pasture lands of the Central Mainland. It is these people whom make up the majority of the residents of this land (roughly 75% or so). They distrust both elves and dwarves, actively fight the faerie-related Redcaps and Mur-ain of the Mystic East, and rarely see gnomes or other races whom have no reason to travel through their region. Living alongside the Garmonders in a strangly peaceful coexistance is a large scattering of Goblins. These goblins are the descendents of a group whom were at one point the goat-herding slaves of a brutal orc clan that moved through the central Mainlund as raiders, with the goblins in tow behind. The Garmonders were having no success pinning down the ever-mobile orc band, who were causing massive strife in the regions of Garmond that they were sacking, until the Garmonders managed to strike a deal with the goblin slaves to betray their orc lords. The goblins did so, and thus came to be somewhat accepted into the Garmond society, although their devious ways cause many men here to question whether or not the bargain was truly worth it. Very small pockets of other isolated non-humans exist as well. The swamps and bogs around the Great Basin Lake are peopled with Gripli the primitive yet intelligent, frog-men race. The Garmonders generally do not concern themselves with the presence of these neighbors in what they consider to be worthless lands, and so the two groups rarely interact. A small scattering of half-giants, originally from Calcova have spread out in this land in recent times. The Garmonders have never historically quarreled with Gruthar the Ogre Kingdom which used half-giant forces, nor with Calcova, so the people of Garmond didn't have a knee jerk reaction of violence when half-giant pilgrims passed through their lands and decided to stay. The Garmonders admire the stoic nature of the giants, along with their immense physical prowess. The people of Garmond are excellent overseers of dairy animals, and as such, always have access to lots of protein-rich dairy foods, which has caused their overall size & stature to increase compared to their Parthian or Bhesinian neighbors. The average Garmonder is a few inches taller than their Parthan cousins, and good 20-30 pounds heaver. In addition, there are far more gargantuan sized men among the Garmonders (6+ feet, 280+ pounds) than any other human group. There are sometimes rumors that these "Titans" are humans with some amount of half-giant blood, but this has never been verified. Furthermore, the Garmonder Titans predate the somewhat recent arrival of the half-giants into their lands. While most of the monsters that originally filled up this frontier land were defeated once the Garmond settlers arrived, the area is still renowned for being filled with hostile creatures in the areas in between the towns. Lots of supernatural beasts dwell in the dark, thick forests, ( owlbears, cockatrices,swamp-trolls, bullettes, etc.) In addition to these savage beasts, undead also plague the region. They can be found meandering in small packs along the lesser traveled roads, and it the decrepit ruins of townships and keeps. One such place of particular hostility is Baldun's keep, which was once home to a disliked warrior clan, until it was overrun with undead forces in centuries prior. Larger hordes of undead occasionally seem to form up out of nowhere: they can be a great threat to smaller villages and hamlets that lack proper defenses, so it is best to try to spend the night in a walled town if you can afford to do so. It is believed that the region of Garmond acts as a sort of portal for the Shadowfell, due to the large quantity of seemingly random undead that appear there. Liches and necromancers will use Garmond as a starting point for the raising of armies, since they can pull these undead hordes from the Shadowfell with ease, though this activity has tapered down in recent times. History Early in the era of the Parthian Empire, that society had a need to push its influence further southeast into the central portion of the Mainlund, in an effort to obtain more pasture lands to feed its people. The grassy plains that separate Partha from modern day Garmond were too barren to sustain many settlements, so the humans pushed into the forests further southeast, in search of locations for sustainable Parthian outposts. However, the forests of the region at that time were filled with magical beasts like owlbears, small dragons, wyverns, trolls, and the like, and so the humans had to fight hard to encroach into the secluded grassy glens in which they could raise their cows and sheep. Furthermore, roaving bands of orc raiders followed the humans from the plains into the forests, and would sack the villages at every chance. As such, the humans of "Gamondarian" (the Parthian name for the region) had to fight tooth and nail to hang on to their villages, livestock, and lives in this turbulent land. Furthermore, there were some other humans with small land holdings in and around the forests of Garmond. These humans were mostly of barbarian stock related to the modern Bhesinians and so the two groups came into conflict on many occassions. The Garmonders, after many decade of conflict, slowly succeeded in driving out both their human rivals and the terrible beasts in the region. orc/goblin story here During the later years of the Great Parthian Empire, the northern section of Garmond was controlled by the "Brass Crown." As the power of the empire waned, the men of Garmond grew increasingly tired of fighting the local monsters themselves, while still having to pay high army taxes to Partha. Several small revolutions were attempted over the years, will non successful, until a Garmonder farmer had his daughter kidnapped by the local Parthian Governor. Opom Kur'Waldish began a small crusade against the governor that lead to a national uprising, and resulted in the first successful revolution of the region. Bhesina had just recently broken free, and Partha was sending the bulk of its forces to try to bring that state back, so Garmond had a golden opportunity to free themselves. After independence was achieved, the clans promptly began fighting for power, a situation which continues to this day. Politics & National Relations Despite having had a successful armed revolt against Partha, the Garmonders formed friendly diplomatic relations with their former governors within a few generations of breaking away, and the relationship grew stronger over the years as the Parthians disbanded their empire piece by piece. Today, Garmond is almost a vassal nation of Partha, and tight bonds between the two cause Garmond to side with Partha in virtually every national dispute. The monotheistic proselytizers of Bhesina have been pushing into the western edge of Garmond territory more and more each year, and Partha encourages and supports the Garmond efforts to beat back these settlers by provider arms & armor, and occasionally military commanders on loan. Both the Bhesinians and the Garmonders previously would stretch their people into the Abahezian Mountains which divide the two lands, usually to scout for mineral wealth (gold, iron, etc), or to lead grazing animals into the fertile valleys in the foothills there. In recent times, the Bhesinians have claimed more and more territory in the mountains as part of their official territory, angering the Garmonders greatly. The remnants of the great human barbarian hordes of the Mainland exist only in the hilly, open lands between Garmond's north eastern edge and the Kharos Mountains some distance away, and these nomadic horsemen occasionally step into Garmond (or Parthian) territory, which causes the Garmonders to react with murderous rage, usually resulting in a brief skirmish with the barbarian horsemen dashing away and the Garmonders on foot, in hot pursuit, begging them to "stand and fight like men!" Similarly, the Garmonders are hostile towards the Redcaps of the Forests of Ashtar, who in historical times, would occasionally stream out of their forests to raid villages and take captives in the region of Daegon, in between Garmond and Ashtar. This hostility is mostly in words rather than swords, as both nations are fairly reclusive now, and do not cross paths much. Being fairly isolated in the center of the Mainland, Garmond does not have much reason to interact with the other nations besides Partha in much capacity. It purchases metal goods from its close friend Partha (since it has poor metallurgic resources on its own), usually by trading its bountiful agricultural products (dairy, horses, wool, pelts, honey, citrus, etc). The Kingdom of Garmond is currently ruled by a nobleman named Sir Comhall Griogair, the latest of a long line of kings to rule under the Griogair line. However, this ruling clan has not had a continuous reign. Rather, every few decades some rival clan will temporarily seize the crown in a bitter coup, forcing the other clans to polarize and choose sides. The Garmonders, despite their love of violence, are actually quite adept and constraining these royal scuffles to just the families involved minimizing civilian impact. Likewise, being a low ranking soldier of a clan who fails to overthrow the government is not even considered a crime, so there are no massive killings in retaliation for political upheavals, contrary to common practice. The land has about a dozen such "royal" families at any given time vying for the crown. In addition, family factions will often come into conflict with each other during times of royal peace, over grazing rights, blood feuds, etc, so there is always much work for mercenaries or men-at-arms in this tempestuous land. The first King to establish a line of sucession built for his family an impressive keep at Grimsby; for most of Garmond's history, it has been as the palace for the king and his royal family. The clan that the king is the head of will also usually stay at this keep. When a line of sucession is overthrown, the victors will take the keep for themselves; they espcially enjoy to defame the portraits and busts of the previous royal family. The heads of the most powerful clans meet together every couple months, sometimes every few years, in a deliberative body known as the House of Lords. The clan lords will discuss matters of importance to their clans, and will attempt to resolve disputes, sometimes through peaceful means, other times not so much. The House of Lords is notorious for its backdoor plots, corrupt bargains, and plans for coup de'etats against the current king. This body will in times of peace, try to manipulate the King into enacting plans that benefit the individual needs of each clansman however, or a collective need if they can agree upon one. Culture & Customs Garmonders tend to favor violence as a way to resolve conflict, a cultural characteristic brought about because of the wildness of the land they occupied before breaking from Partha. The people tend to group themselves into extended families (clans) and each village or town will only house three or four different clans. Large cities will hold more, but wherever they occur, the clans will invariably be at conflict with one another. Because of this predisposition towards violence, the Garmonders tend to use violence to solve all manner of social interactions. In order to get a merchant to lower his price, a Garmonder might give the clerk a few solid slaps to the head until a satisfactory discount is rendered. Bumping into another man in the street usually results in a full-blown fist-fight, which only stops when one man falls unconscious or submits. Starting a romantic relationship with a Garmonder's sister is likely to result in him chasing you around the barn, with sword in hand, for the crime of sweet-talking his dear sis. And likewise, breaking off that relationship later (should it last), might result in the same man chasing you (with the same sword) for the offense of making his beloved sister cry such tears. Women as well participate in this constant level of low-grade violence, and fist fights between the sexes are also not uncommon, although if the combatants have a large size disparity then it is viewed as "unsporting" for the larger person to win too dominantly, or inflict permanent injury. Garmonders expect to have large families of 7-10 siblings, and they also expect that 2-4 of them will perish in duels and fights before they reach middle age. This is normal in the society, and a family whom does not fight and duel would be considered strange. Death from violence is considered a misfortune for a family, but more along the lines of a crop failure, or a house burning down, meaning that they'll mope about it for a few weeks, and then put it behind them. As such, long-standing vendettas over murdered relatives are shockingly rare. It is not unusual for a man to be great friends with another man who might have killed a cousin (if perhaps not a sibling) of the first man. As long as the fight was fair, and started over "appropriate" reasons, there's no need to hold a grudge. And besides, a man might have a friend for 20 years before killing him over who's turn it is to buy the ale anyway. Virtually every town in the land has several fighting schools and one main arena for public displays of blood and gore. The gladiators whom fight in these arenas are, however, never "professional" fighters. They are always common men who step into the arena to prove their mettle. Anyone with ambitions regarding politics must prove themselves in the arena first, and political debates are often settled in this way. Not all fights in these arenas are to the death, but they aren't exactly uncommon either. In addition to violence, the Garmonders have a national propensity towards braggadocio or the telling of tall tales. Story telling and bardic prowess are held in very high esteem, and the obligation of the story teller to tell the truth is weak at best. A man is expected to collect a few new great stories of his exploits every decade or so, or else he is viewed as boring and feminine The pinnacle of art in Garmond society is a hybrid performance of story telling, dancing, and poetry recital, combined into one performance, referred to as a “ Kril’Notkri,” meaning “Long Tale.” The best Kril'Notkri are rewarded with food and money by the community, and the performers of these are held up as celebrities. The people of Garmond practice a fairly informal form of marriage, compared to most other cultures. It does not take any outside party to dissolve a marriage in divorce; simply stating that you are done with your spouse is sufficient. Also, monogamy is appreciated, but not expected, if a given spouse is more attractive or successful than their partner. A man is free to take on as many wives as he can keep happy, which is no easy feat. Garmond women are often strong-willed and demanding partners, and they are perfectly happy to leave a husband's house in favor of his brother's if the man can't maintain their level of satisfaction. Garmond women demand that their men maintain a perfect balance of athletic prowess, poetic skill, attentive love-making, community support, and patient child rearing, all at the same time. Also, women themselves have no compunction about slugging a hung-over husband in the jaw for sleeping late, or smashing a cudgel into the knee of a rogue who sweet talked them all night and is now trying to slip away before the sun rises. Strangely of all the trivial events that provoke murderous, violent rages between Garmonders, a wife's departure is regarded with an almost zen like acceptance. Garmonders know that to keep their women folk happy is no easy feat, and sometimes they are secretly relieved when a strong-willed wife announces that's she's sick of her husband's drunkenness and sloppy love-making, and is departing to go live with his neighbor. In older times, the women of Garmond would follow behind their husbands into battle, carrying the clan's army's supplies and food. And their most important duty during warfare would be to scream at their men all manner of vulgar details about how the enemy would be raping them and dragging them off if their men are to loose the fight, in order to get the mens' blood boiling for combat. Furthermore, in dire circumstances, the women would arm themselves with spears and long bows, and would stand in the rear of the army with orders to impale or shoot any of their own men-folk who turn from the fight and try to flee the battlefield. The food of the land revolves around dairy products, and all the animals that provide meat are utilized first for their milk or eggs. Sheep, goats, llamas, chickens and cattle are raised by the people in virtually every household. Eggs, cheese, butter, yogurt, and milk are consumed at virtually every meal. The southern section of the land is warm enough to produce citrus and honey, and the people of this area also hunt rabbits and ducks. On "High Games day", whole towns will stop all other activity and hold a series of ritualized contests and tournaments, designed to honor the gods of the land and prepare for upcoming battles. Events include javelin and stone throwing, marathons, and tree climbing. Even children have these contests, and serious injuries are not unheard of. Several prizes will be awarded by the leaders of the town, usually livestock like llamas or goats, and several animals will be slaughtered to provide food for a huge feast. These animals are killed in ritual combat, sometimes hand -to -hand, with animals that fight well being honored before they are killed. This holiday occurs in late summer. Garmonder warriors vary their skills from clan to clan. Some clans, especially in the north-east, favor rapid cavalry and light lances/spears/swords. The rilling Dun'Kirk clan is renown for its war-hammer & heavy shield combination, while their chief rivals, the Kashilian clan, considers shields "unmanly", and trains all its young fighters with massive, two-handed battle axes. The goblin folks who live among the Garmonders enjoy a strangely hospitable welcome for that race, having won their place as quasi-citizens many years prior. Garmonders are quick to anger, and also to forgive, but never forget a good deed, and so have agreed to allow the goblins to live among them so long as the goblins keep their thieving tendencies to a minimum. The goblins live on or near farmsteads, usually in small huts just out of sight of the farmer's house, and make their living collecting any crops left in the fields after harvest, or performing menial farm work in exchange for food and clothing. It is also a custom among the Garmonders to be quite charitable to the local goblins, and to provide them random food offering whenever there is a surplus on the farm. These goblins are still slightly dangerous when provoked enough, but are mostly just mischievous and petty when it comes to being slighted by the local farmer. Strangely for goblins, these beings (referred to as "gremlins" by the locals) have a high degree of Faerie-blood in their linage, enough to cause a Garmonder pause before attempting to loop one's head off. As such, they very often possess fae-magic and charms, and follow the rules and customs of the FeyCourt, far more so than the Garmonders. A slap or curseword directly at the wrong goblin is likely to get a farmer in trouble with them as a lot, and such a fool would be lucky if the worst luck that befell him would be a farm animal or three teleported into his bedroom every night at midnight for a week, or perhaps a permanent sentence of lewd, magical text, describing his wife's bathing habits, affixed to his barn in large letters. Garmonders value physical robustness and mental with very highly. As such, when a person becomes old and feeble, it is a great shame for others to see them decline. Old families have a tradition where grandpa is taken out "for a hike in the woods" where he is killed by an unexpected blow to the head, thus sparing him the shame of old age. Evading this death is actually the best sign that you are NOT yet too old to live, so old Garmonders are notoriously paranoid about their family members and any outdoor activity. Many begin wearing loaded crossbows at all times, to ward off their children, often resulting in accidental shootings unfortunately. Female matriarchs are especially known for their wily ability to dodge such murders. Famous Figures & Groups Eilia Griogair is the daughter of the current ruling king, Sir Comhall Griogair, by his 3rd wife (whom now resides with his half-brother and rival, Svalt Kashilian), and is a "titan" (meaning, a human of dramatically above-average size). She stands 7'0 tall, weighing twice as much any man in the king's army, and could easily wrestle any of them to the ground. She famously rebuked her father's attempts to marry her off in a political deal with another rival, going so far as to pummel her "fiance" into unconsciousness at her father's court when the fool publicly insisted that it was not a princess' place to choose her husband. Since then, she has announced that she will only marry a man whom can out-wrestle, out-box, and out-ride her in a series of contests. To date, 68 brave young lads have attempted the feat, with none of them coming close to victory. This is presenting a growing problem for the king, as she has not yet produced an heir for his throne, and he has no other officially recognized offspring. Religion The people of Garmond, having close cultural ties with Partha, mostly worship the Parthian god Cortis the god of armor and fighting. They alter his name to "Co'ortiz", and focus less on his role in Partha as the patron of sheriffs, and more on his fighting spirit. They call out blessings to him before and after brawls, and use his name as an excuse for getting whipped into murderous frenzies. However, the devotion to this deity is not particularly strong. Maintaining a cultural link with the Parthians serves the Garmonders well, so they continue to worship this Parthian god, but true be told, it wouldn't take much for them to drop any pretense of organized religion entirely, or perhaps to switch over to one of the rural farm-gods of the Ural humans of the Footlands, who are not so far away from their southern border. Some Garmonders in the southeast corner of their land, where the Central Mainlund pastures start to fade into the deep, dark forests of The Mystic East, practice more fae-based religions, which mostly ignore the distant gods in favor of seeking the blessings or forgiveness of the local faerie populations. Parthian ambassadors strongly disapprove of this, and so the Garmond central government (loose as it is) must occasionally make an effort of trying to reign in these rough heretics, although it is mostly for show. Daegon There is an area of the Mainlund referred to as Deaton, Dhayqn, or Daegon, with the latter being the most common title. Daegon is the land east of Garmond, on the west side of the Haas range, and north of the Footland's official border. The area has never had a central leader, and so is not recognized as a nation. Instead it has several small city-states who govern themselves and distrust outsiders. These groups are predominately human, with a small population of Sidhe Elves and Ikiro. The land is filled with faerie magic and lore, ad so the sylvan races are not trusted, as the many fae being of the area are known for their mischievous ways, if not their downright malice. The land is filled with strange beings that don't exist anywhere else, and these faerie creatures tend to drive off any other monsters outside of their brethren. In this land, milk and bread must be sacrificed nightly to please local brownies, and red feathers are burned to ward off the Nuckelavee, a ferocious monster of the realm. Daegon is home to phookas, kelpies, fachan, and bogies, as well as a host of other monsters and spirits who range from benevolent to carnivorous in their dealings with men. The faerie spirits are ruled by Gwynn ap Nudd, a 1000 year old spirit who resents the Seelie and UnSeelie courts of Ashtar, and was expelled from that land many centuries ago. The humans are known for their musical skill, especially with the harp and flute, and there are many bards in this land. The people use coins from Garmond if bartering will not suffice as a way of exchange.